mentioned, motivated largely by the pleasure of being with her. In that case, too, the motive is probably sufficient to rule out personal involvement. Another dangerous and ineffective motivation is self-righteousness. “I’ve found being dogmatic and legalistic does not lead a person to want help. It turns him against it,” said a pastoral counselor. “But if he feels he’ll get a fair hearing, he’s much more apt to let someone step in. It’s crucial to sincerely want to understand that person’s point